Ka-Ess

Ka-Ess, in elaborate hat

Ka-Ess, also known as Ka-Ess Lizardkin, Ka-Ess Lizardman, Ka-Ess Manlizard, Ka-Ess von Manlizard, Ka-Ess "the Rakish," and various other aliases and epithets, was a lizardfolk merchant, pirate, and explorer in the Skaugan Main and member of the Council of High Captains. An itinerant bard and notorious rapscallion, his "Tales of Ka-Ess" are considered a useful, if unreliable, primary source for Skaugan historians.

Though an established adventurer in his own right, Ka-Ess' most well-known exploits occurred in the company of The Fishwives, a pirate crew that at times included such figures as Ardrick Blackstone, Cheeky Patch, Ilabrar Nightbreeze, and Sathul Tashill, aboard their flagship, The Satisfied Fishwife.

Description

Ka-Ess was a 6'5" blue lizardman with scattered copper and green frills and webbing. He was thin for a lizardman, not unusual for the less robust males. His eyes were yellow, with long slitted pupils. He had small, sharp, evenly spaced teeth and gracefully curving black claws. On his foreleg knuckles was tattooed the magical device HOLD FAST, on the knuckles of his hands, HOLD TRUE.

Though Ka-Ess' scales were bright and burnished, he bore some scars from various battles and misadventures that were the subject of his vain insecurities.

Early Life

Born c. 194 Valanthe II DRC in the southern fens of Kwetzpali, Ka-Ess enjoyed an early life of relative privilege as a rare and thus desirable male. He was raised in the harem of the Matron Ssa-ptal, groomed for the life of a drone, and was educated in hunting, handicrafts, traditional Lizardfolk unarmed combat, and the historical poems and songs of the Lizardfolk oral tradition. In his fourteenth year, Ssa-ptal died unexpectedly — a crushing blow to young Ka-Ess' prospects. His attempts to negotiate a new Matronage were fruitless, and Ka-Ess fled into exile rather than be devoured by the Matron of a rival line.

Taking to the Sea

Ka-Ess duels a pirate

Following a nearby stream, Ka-Ess soon found himself faced with the vast ocean. He was so struck by the sight that he at once swore his life to the Sea. He spent several weeks encamped on the shore before he saw a ship in the distance — the Barrel-Chested Lady. Sensing a swell in the crescendo of Fortune, Ka-Ess swam out to the ship and persuaded its captain, Erno Yardspar, to accept him to the crew. But in his haste to begin a life at sea, Ka-Ess was incautious in the affixing of his signature to several documents, and in exchange for his piratical education was forced to serve two years of indentured servitude in Yardspar's employ.

Despite the nature of his employment, Ka-Ess found his tour aboard the Barrel-Chested Lady liberating. Freed from his obligations as a Lizardman breeding male, he exulted in swinging from the rigging, fencing, drinking, brawling, and above all, singing loud and lustily with his fellow sailors (including Vok Toothtaker, who would later serve as ship's surgeon on the Fishwife). He soon found that his courtly education in the harem had instilled in him a talent for music, and when he lent his sibilant tones to a shanty, the ship sailed as if it were under the protection of the sea itself. Yardspar, though ruthless, was a cunning sailor and tactician, and he instructed Ka-Ess in the many maritime arts. When his contractual obligation had been fulfilled, Ka-Ess Lizardkin strode down the gangplank a fully-fledged sailor and bard. Ka-Ess worked as a sailor on various merchant and pirate ships for the next several years, finding himself in demand for his acrobatic, musical, and navigational gifts. Unused to the concept of currency, he spent as quickly as he earned, having little concept of "saving," and his extravagance earned him many boon companions in the ports of the Skaugan Main.

Capture and Escape

His fortunes were to change for the worse when he accepted a commission as navigator on the merchantman the Hefty Barmaid. Only several days out of port, the Barmaid was captured by the dread Admiral Drax. Pressed into service as a galley slave, Ka-Ess suffered much before effecting a daring escape with a band of fellow slaves including Bragen Minotauros and Mute, Illiterate Half-Orc. They absconded with the ship's boat and finally arrived, exhausted, at Hag Island. Confronted with the Hag's fearsome rage, Ka-Ess and his companions elected to flee to Port Skaug, where Ka-Ess found himself in need of a ship and crew.

The Satisfied Fishwife

With only what he had stolen from Drax, Ka-Ess arranged lodgings at The Wayward Lobster and began his search for a ship and crew to exact revenge on the Hag and seize her holdings. It was here that he met Ardrick Blackstone and Ilabrar Nightbreeze, who answered his advertisement for "rough and rowdy sailors seeking fabulous fortunes." Assembling a scrappy raiding party, they captured the Neglected Fishwife, rechristened it The Satisfied Fishwife, and slew the Hag, laying claim to the now-Hagless Island. The period of his life spent with The Fishwives was one of the most profitable and productive of his career, and it was at this time that he first attained wider notoriety in the Skaugan region.

Political Career

In 218 V.II, during the height of the halfling refugee crisis, the Marquis de Rothshyr hired Ka-Ess and his companions as couriers to escort a package to his estate. Immediately sensing their usefulness, the Marquis then retained the Fishwives as adventurers and arranged to install Ka-Ess as a High Captain in the Skaugan assembly ahead of a crucial vote on the halfling question. Though untrained in politics and largely unaware of the position's responsibilities, Ka-Ess accepted the nomination, with consequences still felt throughout the region today. As a token of their support for the halfling cause, The Fishwives resettled a convoy of halfling refugees on Hagless Island, and the halfling-goblin settlement that developed on the island soon became the center of Ka-Ess' political power and personal fortune.

As the political situation worsened in the Skaugan Main, Ka-Ess' wealth and power only increased. Hagless Island's agricultual and shipping industries, supplemented by his inveterate grave-robbing and naval prize-taking, soon found Ka-Ess and his companions in possession of a great fortune. The renewed activity on Hagless Island awakened the dormant black dragon Balagos, and the Fishwives' defeat of the beast - with Ka-Ess striking the killing blow - earned Ka-Ess the sobriquet "Dragonslayer" and the Fishwives at large a reputation as fearsome warriors.

When Port Drax declared war on Port Skaug and her allies in 219 V.II, Ka-Ess parleyed his newfound wealth and noteriety into a naval commission and was appointed Commodore of the Skaugan Navy by the Council of High Captains. The position, which gave Ka-Ess authority over the entire Skaugan allied fleet, was seen as risky, and the private diaries of other High Captains of the time suggest that he was expected to fail and be executed by court-martial. Nevertheless, adopting a guerilla strategy of surprise and attrition, the Skaugan fleet triumphed over the larger Draxian Armada, culminating in the Sack of Drax and the death of the once-Dread Admiral Drax at the hands of Ardrick Blackstone. In the aftermath of the Skaugodraxan Conflict, Ka-Ess and his fellow Fishwives were named Sea-Lords of Skaug.

Death

The circumstances of Ka-Ess' death remain unknown but are widely believed to be horrific. Contemporary sources invariably omit the actual cause of death, instead couching the event in epithet and euphemism. Some scholars speculate that this suggests a sacreligious, unutterable, or indescribable death, a theory in keeping with the Fishwives' documented interest in Old Gods.

Notable Works

(This list is incomplete; you can help by adding missing items.)

• The Tales of Ka-Ess
• Odes Composed Upon Regarding my Elaborate Hat
• To the Goblins, to Hastily Brine (from a poem by Bogo Grodog)
• In Praise of Myself
• Luaus of the Goblin-King
• 43 Short Poems about Fish
• An Offspring's Treasury of Gobliphone Poetry (song cycle, adapted from the classic orcish poetic omnibus)
• Beloved One, Your Eyes Are Like the Moon
• Further Ribald Tales of the "Satisfied Fishwife"
• Liēt and Jammah'a
• Hinazka Moon